In New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles for example, there are city-focused professional associations for lawyers. That being said, if he says he's not gay, take him at his word. When I was 18 I left my family for 13 years cause they didn't like the point that I was gay.
I'm an older man well 47 - not that old yet and I love young studs My problem was that I did not know how to approach them without seeming like a creepy old dude Plus I didn't know how to spot the younger gay man or if he was bi-curious - so I I am gay and I am looking for a man out of confidence because I was afraid of meeting a homophobic dude and get a punch on the face if was brave enough to go talk to him.
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In my clinical and personal experiences, these feelings can be so deeply hidden as to be difficult to recognize, articulate and resolve. I am mature, Italian, tan, gray bottom but versatile looking for a fit masculine top who is versatile but likes to take charge. Unfortunately, you cannot and should not force anyone to do something that they do not wish to do.
More often the lack of gay population seems to be secondary to the mindset of partner hunting developed unconsciously from the scene, in which a 6 pack or big guns are considered more important than the ability to put two words together, let alone for any type of emotional connection. What makes you hesitate to do it again?